Before getting married the first thing that a man should do is Pamanhokan. It is mean to ask the girl’s parents for her hand. Pamanhikan is an old tradition where the groom and his parents visit the bride’s family. During this visit the groom formally asks for girl’s hand and then two families discuss plans for the upcoming wedding over lunch or dinner. Traditionally groom’s family brings a gift for the hosts. In Japan it is called yuino – a formal exchange of betrothal gifts.
A Japanese marriage have imported a mixed blend of various traditional and western cultures. In Japan like rest of the world, marriage is a reason for gathering, fun and frolic. It is practiced with the rituals which represent it as a sacred union of two souls. Once a boy or a girl attain a right age of marriage, a search for the suitable match is set.
In old Japanese myth, all things were composed by the marriage of the male and female gods. They were Izanagi and Izanami--Japan's Adam and Eve. According to the legend, these two gods came down to primitive earth from the heavens on a rainbow bridge. Out of their union came the islands of Japan, the sun, the moon, the mountains, the trees and the wind.
 The chief religion in Japan is Shinto which ideally means "the way of Kami or Gods". The religious traditional Japanese wedding ceremonies are performed in a Shinto shrine. Shinto wedding ceremonies are very personal attended by only family members and friends.
The Wedding Ceremony
As usual before the ceremony, there is a rehearsal. On this rehearsal, a very nice pre-ceremony ritual happens. The bride’s mother lowers the veil for her daughter. It is the last act that mother can do for her daughter before giving her to her husband. For bride’s father the last act that he can do for her daughter, it is walk the bride down the aisle to her awaiting groom. The same tradition very often happens in the Western culture.
Nowadays the traditional Shinto ceremony honors the kami, the spirits inherent in the natural world. The special branch called the harai-gushi uses during the purification ceremony. Afterwards the couples exchange marriage vows and share a wedding cake. Than the priest asks the god to bless the couple. The ceremony ends with a ritual dividing of sake from three flat cups stacked on top of one another. The groom may lead, taking three sips from the first cup, followed by the bride, who also takes three sips from the first cup. Popularly called san-san-kudo. It is symbolizing the unification of the couple.
Later they move on to the second and third cups. Families and friends also drink sake to mark the bonding of the newlyweds and the two families as well. In the U.S., Japanese Americans seeking a traditional ceremony turn to the country's Buddhist traditions. One highlight of the ceremony is the rosary, or o juju, which has 21 beads of two different colors. Eighteen beads presents the couple, two presents each family and one presents the Buddha. Joined on one string, the beads symbolize the joining of the families. The san-san-kudo, more cultural than religious, is also performed at the Buddhist ceremony. After the wedding ceremony the couple joins to the guests and friends at the large reception party.
| 
